Depressing RaceFail Moment in NaNo
Jha: =(
i just realized something
Tariq: what?
Jha: i've been having trouble writing this novel
the characters, i'm trying to treat them as people and all
but it's all coming out stilted and ridiculous and wrong
and i'm like WTF IS WRONG
and it hit me
i'm writing Malayans
i'm not used to it
i'm not used to inserting references to Malaysian food
or the weather
or durian
or padi
it's like
it's like I can't write my own people
Tariq: ...why is that a surprise?
I mean, it's not as if we, as Malaysians, have practise in writing about ourselves.
Jha: it's not really
Tariq: ...actually, I can't do it without consciously trying to telegraph to everyone
"LOOK AT ME, I'M EGGSOTICKS."
Jha: but the realization really hit me hard
Tariq: poor Jamiyah.
Jha: god DAMMIT
Tariq: d'you feel bad about yourself when the realization hit?
Jha: it's too early in November to be crying over how teruk a novel is
of course i do.
although i didn't start the actual crying until i really typed it out
Tariq: oh. shit, you're crying right now?
Jha: well YES
it's TRAGIC enough, don't you think?
Tariq: not in a melodramatic way
=(
Jha: it's not melodramatic. it's just really fucking disgustingly depressing.
i cant even make my own characters who're supposedly my own people resonate with me
how the fuck am i supposed to process that?
Tariq: ...
I'm not sure.
Jha: i'm just staring at the goddamn text and everything is so foreign
Tariq: well
for one thing
you're writing steampunk romance
you know how incredibly white washed both parent genres are.
Sent at 22:14 on Tuesday
Tariq: if you're using voices that are native to both genres, they're gonna sound stilted; the hard part will be making that thing resonate.
but at least you've got something that you can fix right now; you've got stuff written.
or even
you can get everything written this month
and then when it's time to edit
you can take out your rewrite scalpels
and really make that darling of yours squeal


Now that I am done being depressed and teary about this fucking bullshit, I AM ANGRY.

And I am going to FINISH THIS FUCKING NOVEL FOR SURE NOW.